Rapunzel: The Untold Story
by trillian225
Summary: The wicked witch of Rapunzel sets the record straight on the parents, the tower, the prince, and what the heck rapunzel really is. COMPLETE!
1. The Witch Speaks

**A/N Disclaimer: I don't own the story of Rapunzel, we have the Grimm Brothers to thank for that. I also don't own Hansel and Gretel or any other story that is referenced**

You've probably all hear the story: Once upon a time, a young, happy couple lived next to the mean, old witch. The woman became pregnant and started having these terrible cravings for this weird vegetable, rampion. The only problem was the only place to get it was from the evil witch's garden. The poor woman felt she would die if she didn't get some to eat, so her courageous husband snuck into the garden and risked his life to get the precious vegetable for his wife. But he screwed up and got caught by the hideous witch. The man explained the situation and begged the witch not to kill him or his wife. The witch agreed, but only under the condition that when the baby was born, it belonged to the witch. The man, fearing for his wife, reluctantly agreed. The baby was born, only to be stolen from the arms of the crying mother by the wicked witch. The witch cruelly named the girl after the fateful vegetable's other name, Rapunzel.

Years later, after Rapunzel had grown into a beautiful, young woman, the witch locked her away into a large tower with no doors, never to be seen again by the outside world. The only visitor Rapunzel had was the witch, who got into the tower by yelling, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair." This went on for some time until a prince stumbled across the tower and figured out the secret entrance. The Prince and Rapunzel fell in love and began having a secret affair under the witch's wart-covered nose until one day when Rapunzel slipped up and told the witch what had been going on. The evil witch cut Rapunzel's hair and banished her to a lonely life in the woods. The witch then set a trap for the prince. She met him in the tower, blinded him with a spell, and then banished him as well to a lonely, dark life in the woods. The two lovers finally met one day by chance. Rapunzel's tears cured the prince's blindness and the two rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after.

Sounds like a fantastic life, right?

It'd be a better one if it had _actually happened that way_.

I'm sick and tired of the evil witch always getting blamed for everything bad that happens. I mean, take my friend for example. She was this wonderful, old witch that lived in a spectacular house made of candy. She took in these two poor, lost children and feeds them. The greedy kids decided they wanted the house all to themselves. So they threw my friend in the oven! What kind of kid throws someone into an_ oven_! After the "wicked witch" was dead, the kids came up with this ridiculous story that she had tried to eat them. She was a vegetarian! I personally had hoped that everyone would have enough sense to see past those awful lies, but they all believed the kids. And just because my friend happened to be a witch!

It's discrimination, I tell you and I'm ending it right here and now. You see, I'm the "hideous, old" witch from the story of Rapunzel. I'm finally going to set the record straight once and for all.

My story, like these stories always do, begins once upon a time in a faraway land…

**A/N This first chapter is a little slow; I felt the need to sum up Rapunzel for those that don't know the story. Chapter two will be much better, you meet the parents, Bubba and Darla.**


	2. Cravings and Drunken Rednecks

The "happy couple" described in the story was anything but happy. I think "couple" is even stretching it a little far. But Bubba and Darla really were my neighbors and Darla really was pregnant, this much the story has right. What it doesn't tell you, though, is that Bubba and Darla were, in my humble opinion, white trash.

"Bubba!" Darla's piercing scream would interrupt my lovely, _quiet_ breakfast. "Git off that couch, turn off that there TV and git to work, you lazy pig!"

"Woman," Bubba would so intelligently reply, "I have bin workin' all day, yer the one that ain't done nothin'!"

This would go on sometime, one would threaten to leave the other, and then they would make up. And this, dear reader, is how Darla became pregnant. I'm sure I don't need to go into detail on, you know, the birds and the bees and what not.

I must confess that for the first few months, pregnancy did wonders for Darla; she really was one of those women that glowed. She was almost serene during that time. It gave me a chance to work on my beautiful vegetable garden in peace.

But soon the cravings started. And that's when it all went down hill.

Rampion, for those of you who aren't vegetable connoisseurs like I am, is in the spinach family. It's a favorite among witches as they tend to be vegetarian. My rampion garden was my pride and joy, the most beautiful in three counties, six years running. If you were to see my garden, you could understand why most people would want to sample the rampion.

But I always thought it was safe from Bubba and Darla. The two of them seemed to have four basic food groups: beer, red meat, potatoes of the fried variety, and barbeque sauce. I don't even think their stomachs had ever seen anything green or containing vitamins A-K. I never worried that my garden would be in jeopardy from them.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when Bubba came stumbling over my garden wall one day, but I was. I mean, I knew pregnancy could do weird things to woman, even make Darla crave vegetables, but it still caught me off guard.

I was sitting outside enjoying a peaceful summer night when something, or should say some_one_, came tumbling over my garden wall. Although I normally am very even tempered, I was furious. First of all, witches tend to be very private creatures. We don't take kindly to people stomping around, uninvited in our land. Secondly, whoever was out there was in the middle of my rampion garden! The judges were coming in two weeks and there was no way I was going to lose the garden award after winning for six years.

I rushed out to my garden to see what all the ruckus was. Imagine my surprise when I found Bubba traipsing about my yard. He was, of course, drunk off his gourd and stumbling around quite a bit.

"That woman! I don't care if she's pregnant or not, she made me git outta bed and come over to that evil witch's yard to steal some stupid vegetable!" he complained, rather loudly, might I add. I was rather offended that he had the nerve to call my vegetables stupid, but I kept my temper.

"Excuse me sir, but you happen to be trespassing. Now I don't mind if you have a few of my vegetables, but I would prefer it if you would ask--"

"ARRRGGHH! The old, ugly witch!" There it was again. Why did people have to keep saying that? "Please, please don't kill me, I wasn't doin nothin'!" The fat oaf was on his knees practically crying. If I didn't want to hex him before, I sure did now.

Let me just take this time to clear up another common misconception about witches. We're magical. Why in the world would be ugly if we could change it! I mean, I'm no super model, but I've been known to turn a few heads. The only thing that kept me from turning Bubba in to a John Deere tractor after that statement was the fact that he was going to be a father soon.

Even still, I put on my meanest face, just to scare him a little. "Why are you here? What do you want with my vegetables?"

"Please! I din't want to! Sh…she made me do it!" He was blubbering now; I was quite embarrassed at the scene. "She say she has got to have some o' this ram… ramponion… er... stuff. If ya promise not to turn me into a toad, I'll…give ya the baby!"

I was shocked that he would even offer. What kind of parent would give up their baby like that? I began to think that I should take him up on the offer. Even before that night I had been questioning Bubba and Darla's parenting skills. First of all, their marriage itself was a little shady. I strongly suspected they were related; they looked very similar, like they could have been cousins or something. No child should be raised with a home life like that. Secondly, they bought an awful lot of Sudafed. They either got a lot of head colds or had a meth lab in their basement. Considering some of the company they kept, my guess was the latter, though neither was good for a baby. After thinking it over, I finally decided it would be best to take care of the child myself.

"All right, I will let you go, and I will give you all the rampion your wife wants, but when the baby is born you must give it to me. And you must promise to leave me alone after." I thought all of this was more than fair. After nodding his agreement, Bubba grabbed his bag of rampion and ran home. The tub of lard didn't even thank me. Being a witch is a thankless job.


	3. Diapers, Acne Cream, and Impenetrable Fo...

Finally the day arrived and the baby girl was born. I was going to allow them a few days with her thinking maybe they would realize Bubba's mistake. But later that day, Darla and Bubba showed up at my front door. As Darla shoved the crying baby in my arms and walked away without so much as a backward glance, I knew I had done the right thing by agreeing to take her.

The baby already had a full head of blonde hair and the most beautiful green eyes. I named her Rapunzel, which means rampion in German, after her eyes, and the events that brought her to my home.

And Rapunzel grew into the loveliest girl in the whole world.

Hahaha…I'm sorry, I could never say that with a straight face.

You want to talk about an awkward teen phase? No matter how hard I tried to bring her up to be a lovely, intelligent girl, genetics always won out. I think it has something to do with Darla and Bubba being both her parents and her second cousins. With genes like that, there's nothing you can do but keep the girl away from the booze and hope for the best.

Rapunzel was as stupid as Darla and Bubba and twice as ugly. Her face was covered with pimples, her buck teeth jutted out in the most unnatural way I've ever seen, and she had a huge…_derrière. _She was actually very skinny, which only served to make her butt that much more noticeable. And _not _in a good way.

I will concede that Rapunzel had two redeeming qualities. They had always been her most striking features ever since she was a baby: her long, golden hair and her jade green eyes. I knew there had to be some potential for her.

When she was twelve, and had come running home crying for the zillionth time because of something one of the village boys had said, the two of us devised a plan. Despite her unfortunate appearance and lack of intelligence, I still cared very much for the girl, so much so that I would have done anything to make her happy again. So I magically constructed a large tower that Rapunzel could go to get away from the cruel world. I filled it with books and brought some of the greatest experts to instruct her in music, history, science, math, philosophy, and of course, manners and proper lady like behavior. I mixed up some potions to fix her acne problem, her teeth, and her uh…proportionality problem.

The tower originally had a door and stairs to get up to Rapunzel's room, but after a year the village boys found the tower and the entrance and began to torment Rapunzel in her sanctuary. I then had to seal the entrance so that the only way to get up was to say the secret phrase "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair," and climb the tower using her hair as a ladder. Because secrecy was a must, the experts were all sent away. I was the only one left to instruct Rapunzel. I knew the girl had to be lonely, but she was still making incredible progress.

She eventually did become the most beautiful girl in the world, and quite the budding genius, but only through a lot of hard work, not to mention a quite a bit of magic.

Despite all my best efforts those incestual genes of hers still came back to bite me in the rear, and all because of that stupid prat of a prince.


	4. Flies, Princes, and Other Pesky Things

Prince Zohn was the spoiled, incredibly short heir to the throne of Janath, a small country near Sweden. Zohn's rather annoying qualities had forced his father to take action. The king knew that Zohn had no hope of marrying anyone in Janath, so he sent his son on a "quest" to find someone in the neighboring counties. Really the king just wanted to get rid of Zohn; he thought Zohn would never find a bride and might never return to Janath. It wasn't that the King was a cruel man, it's just that _no one _could stand to be around Zohn for very long. Unless you completely agreed with Zohn, you were wrong, and he had no problems letting you know it. No one likes to be told their wrong, especially the King. And so Zohn was sent on his grand quest.

Three years later, the weary Zohn finally stumbled across Rapunzel's tower. You'd think he would have given up after a few months, but no. And let me tell you, three years had done nothing for Zohn. Living in the forest might make some men gain lots of muscles. He might also have learned some people skills after being thrown out of so many towns. But mostly, he was the same old Zohn. Except for one little fact, since he never bathed, a swarm a flies followed him wherever he went, which certainly didn't help him associating with people. However, if anything, Zohn was a determined little runt. He sure proved that to Rapunzel.

Even though she hadn't really seen a man, much less a boy, for several years, Rapunzel knew Prince Zohn was not exactly an ideal specimen of "manly beauty" or whatever; she wasn't really fond of the flies that he constantly brought into her tower. But that didn't stop him from visiting her every day. At first he told her he was just looking for a friend, because he had a girlfriend in Pemshim, another small country just west of Janath. Rapunzel was no dummy; she knew there was no girl. But she had no where to go, she was stuck in the tower. I was attending a witch seminar during that time, ("Eye of Newt and Hair of Bat: Making the Most out of Household Items"), which is the only reason that Zohn wasn't sent packing with a few extra limbs, r a horribly disfigured face, but since he already had that, I wouldn't have had to work too hard. But I digress. Zohn came every day, and since Rapunzel was a little lonely, (which I blame myself for), she gave in and let him come up the tower.

She didn't tell me about him. I knew what was going on of course, (refer to previous statements about how I'm a witch and have magical powers), but I let it slide. I figured that if she thought she was old enough and could handle it, then she could. I guess I was wrong.

The day finally came when the Zohn revealed the truth. He didn't have a girlfriend in Pemshim (gasp!). He told Rapunzel that he could take her away from the awful life she led at the tower! They could live happily ever after! Blah blah blahidity blah! Then one of the many flies swarming around him flew into his mouth and ended his declarations of love. Rapunzel didn't want to go with him; she didn't love him and knew she'd be better off with me in the tower. So she thought of the only excuse she could. The old fall back that every girl uses to get out of marrying a guy.

"The evil, old, ugly witch will curse us both if I try to leave her! We can't go! In fact, you should stop coming, because I wouldn't want her to do anything to harm you!" She said to him. I admit I was a little hurt at this, she had never called me ugly before, but I understood why she had to do it.

So the little weasel went away heartbroken.

At least that's what I wish had happened. Instead, before he went, he told Rapunzel, "I guess I'll just go back to the land where I will one day be king…" Rapunzel was suddenly intrigued; she hadn't realized that the annoying Zohn would indeed be a king someday. "And to my palace," Zohn continued, "the luxurious rooms will be a change, but I guess I can get used to it." Rapunzel looked around her tower and realized that, though it was quaint, it was far from luxurious. "I guess I'll just spend my days counting the gold coins and precious jewels that will one day be mine…"

That did it. You know those incestual genes I was talking about earlier? This is where they came back to haunt me. Bubba and Darla were the greediest people on the planet, and apparently their daughter had inherited this trait. All those years of instruction and magic cures went down the drain the moment Zohn mentioned his fortune.

**A/N-- Okay…I'm sorry…I'm finally back. This chapter was very hard for me to write because I had this perfect image of Prince Zohn. He's actually modeled after a guy I know, and writing his image just didn't do it justice. So it's finally back, and the next chapter should come much quicker. It might even been done in a week or so depending on how things go. Thanks so much for reading and putting up with me. **

**Oh, and please review and let me know what you think of this story, even if you don't like it. Trust me, I can take it. And I'll probably just laugh…**


	5. Blinded Eyes and Broken Hearts

I was at home while, unbeknownst to me, Zohn was in the tower professing his undying love to Rapunzel when I suddenly got a funny prickly feeling. I wasn't really sure what was going on, but I knew it was bad. Witches, little known fact, have this very handy sixth sense; they can sense when someone close to them is being a complete prat. Since Rapunzel was the only one even remotely close to me, I suddenly wanted to vomit. Whatever was going on, it was horribly wrong.

I zoomed over to the tower on my mop (most people don't know this, but those witches that can afford it prefer mopsto brooms, it's a much smoother ride and less dusty, but this is completely beside the point) to see what was happening. I suppose I could have always done this instead of climbing up Rapunzel's hair. I could have kept her hair shorter and then Zohn wouldn't have been able to get up the tower; but I always loved her hair long and this gave me an excuse to keep it that way. Plus, if you couldn't tell by the fond way I speak of everyone I know, I've always been something of a romantic, and it really did have the feel of something out of a fairy tale. Little did I know that those horrible Grimm Brothers would thinks so too and come along and totally twist my story as they did. But again, this is completely beside the point I am trying to make.

Once I reached the tower, an awful scene was set before me. Rapunzel and the Prince were, I shudder to write the following word, kissing. Rapunzel, since she was in a tower for most of her adolescence, had zero practice at kissing. One would have thought that a man as widely traveled as Zohn would have had a vast amount of insight into the subject, but then one would obviously have not met Zohn. It was disgusting; I think he actually licked her at one point. It was then that I knew the train wreck before me had to end. So I cleared my throat and watched as the two sprang apart.

"ARRRGGH! It's the old, ugly witch!" I was suddenly reminded of another time when a total idiot had been surprised by my presence. But, since I am so very generous, I let this slide.

"_Who do you think you are?" _I boomed. Okay, I admit it, I _was_ angry with him, so I decided it would be fun to scare him a little. Witches also know this nifty trick where they can enlarge themselves as they get angrier. At this point, I was still a few feet away from the ceiling, but the runt of a Prince was quite frightened of me. Rapunzel seemed a little put out at the way I was treating the new love of her life, but I chose not to notice this.

"_Actually_," the pesky prince finally worked up the courage to reply, "I am a prince. Of Janath. Zohn. Prince Zohn of Janath." Instead of being surprised that the git had a spine, I was even more annoyed at him. He was trying to impress me with a title; I can't stand it when royalty does this.

"A prince, eh? Well, _I can turn you into one of those disgusting flies following you faster than you can say 'Off with her head!'" _I would never have considered doing such a thing before, it wasn't really my style. Rapunzel knew this about me, but wisely chose to say nothing; she knew Zohn well enough to know that I just might have made an exception for him.

Zohn just scoffed at my threat. "We don't behead people in Janath. It's barbaric and base. We believe in more practical forms of punishment, like life in prison." Rapunzel hid her face behind her hand and groaned. Zohn's mouth contorted into what I guess he thought was a smug smile. I grew so big I almost cracked my head on the ceiling and sparks flew off of me (another fun trick for the angry witch), which wiped the smile right off Zohn's face.

"_It was just a figure of speech, you moron. But my threat was very literal. So leave now and never bother Rapunzel again."_ Panic flew into Rapunzel's eyes, she thought she was seeing what was could be her last chance to leave the tower snatched away from her. I guess this is my fault; I was going to tell her afterwards that she could leave the tower and we could go live somewhere else and find her a proper husband. I thought she'd rather be with me than the stupid prince, but had to get rid of him first before I could speak with her. Zohn also noticed the look, but mistook it for one of intense sorrow that they might be separated. This gave him the courage he needed to fight me. Not physically of course, I could have kicked his rear easily, even in a fair fight. But what he said next was the necessary blow he needed to deal.

"She's eighteen and an adult. She can go where she wants without your permission." This shocked me so much I quickly shrunk back to my normal size. I thought about what he said. Had _six _years really passed since Rapunzel began to live in the tower? One look at her and I knew. I might have considered Rapunzel a bit of a nuisance, but she was my nuisance to love and take care of. I took my job as her guardian very seriously and had always thought of her as that awkward twelve year-old that had come running home weeping and thrown herself into my arms. But that day, as I stared into her beautiful green eyes, I finally fully appreciated just how much she had grown into a lovely young woman. All I could do was nod my head mutely; I knew I must have looked silly, my eyes wide with shock, mouth slightly open, and my head going up and down like a bobble head doll. But I was frozen.

Zohn realize he had won. He grabbed Rapunzel's hand and headed toward the window.

"Well, we'll just be off then. We've got a royal wedding to plan and a long trip ahead of us." That snapped me out of the reverie I was in.

I finally conceded. "All right, you may go. _But,_" I added menacingly, "if I _ever_ hear you mistreated this girl, no, woman in anyway," I walked slowly towards him, forcing him backwards to the window, "I will hunt you down and make you wish that I had turned you into a fly!" At this point, Zohn was almost to the window. He tripped over a conveniently placed rug and flew out and fell like a brick, screaming the whole way down.

Rapunzel and I ran to the window to make sure he was okay. With a sweep of my hand I slowed his progress so that he only hit the ground _moderately_ hard. (I could have put a nice cushy bed where he was to land, but just because I had agreed to let him take Rapunzel did _not _mean I liked him.)

"OOOOOOOWWWWWWW!" We heard him scream, "MY EYES!"

I ignored the prince and turned back to Rapunzel. I was surprised to find that I was dreading having to say good bye to her.

After what seemed like an eternity, I managed to choke out, "Was it really so horrible here? Was _I _really so terrible?" After I said this I regretted it; I was afraid of what her reply might be.

"No of course not! It's just…I was so lonely. I know he's not the most wonderful guy I could marry, but I guess I'm afraid he's the _only_ guy I could marry. I mean, I've always known I'm no beauty, and I've been locked away in this tower for so long that I guess I should feel honored that a _prince _wants to marry _me_."

I suddenly realized that in all the time Rapunzel had been in the tower, there had been no mirrors around. She had no idea of how much she had changed in the last six years. She, too, still thought of herself as a twelve year-old girl. With a flick of my hand I filled the room with mirrors.

"No my dear," I said as she gasped at the girl staring back at her, "heshould feel honored that _you _agreed to marry _him_."

Rapunzel was at a loss for words. Then we heard the prince moan again, "I'm blind!"

"I…I have to go." She finally said in a rush. "He sounds like he needs help."

I flicked my hand again and a ladder appeared out the window for her to climb down. With one last glance at her reflection she started down the ladder.

"Rapunzel!" I called, remembering something. I snapped my fingers and a bottle of eye drops zoomed out of a cabinet and into her hands. "Take this, it's sounds like the moron has blinded himself with the all dust down there." We shared a weak smile and she once again started her decent.

It wasn't until the last flick of gold trailed out the window that I realized I had tears streaming down my face.

A/N Okay, so this chapter was a little more serious than the others, but I can explain! First of all, I thought it wasn't right to have the witch be uncaring about Rapunzel's leaving like my original plan went. Although the witch is really sarcastic, she still cared about Rapunzel like her own daughter. Also, when I started writing this it was 5:30 in the morning and I was running on three hours of sleep. So I was a whole lot more "emotional" than I usually am. Also, lack of sleep and the fact that my friend who edits the story wasn't available when I finished this, (who does she think she is, sleeping at 7:30 when I need her!), has probably caused me to make many stupid mistakes. Please don't hesitate to let me know where they are. Anyway, don't worry because I still have one more chapter up my sleeve, which, I hope, shall redeem me.

So please review and watch out for the next chapter, which, I promise, will be coming out soon. I've had it planned out since the beginning so it shouldn't take long.

P.S. Nosilla, there will be a special treat in the next chapter just for you that wasn't in my original plan. Enjoy. :)


	6. Happily Ever Aftersfor Some

It took me a while to realize that I couldn't sit around doing nothing but missing Rapunzel. So I packed up all my possessions, an easy enough task with magic. I rented out my house and the tower to some dwarfs that had a girl in a coma with them. They said she had been cursed by her step mother who, of course, happened to be a wicked witch. A likely story; she probably cracked her head on a ceiling beam in the dwarfs' house and they didn't want to get sued. But I let it slide. After I settled matters at home, I left to do some traveling.

I visited several friends that I had met while at different conferences. But I began to regret going; the wicked witch craze had gotten more out of hand than I realized. Most of my friends had been accused of one thing or another by a step-daughter or someone else. It was a sad time to be a witch.

A few months after she had left, I got a letter from Rapunzel. She told me how sorry she was for everything that had happened, then she asked me to come to Janath as soon as I possible could. Her letter left me a little concerned; I didn't know why she wanted me in Janath. Especially considering the awful things that I was sure her husband Zohn thought about me. Thankfully I wasn't too far Janath; I was in the neighboring country of Larpinski, vacationing in the mountains atmy friend Wily's house.

It didn't take me long to get to Janath, and once I did me fears were alleviated. Rapunzel wasn't in any sort of trouble; everything, according to her, was "absolutely perfect!" And the most blessed thing of all, she wasn't married to Zohn.

Zohn had decided to wait until they got back to Janath to marry Rapunzel. I think he wanted to show everyone who had doubted him that he actually could get someone who would accept his proposal. He also over-estimated his charm and hold on Rapunzel. When he returned to Janath, he was in for quite a few surprises.

For one, the king had died sometime during second year of Zohn's quest. The officials of Janath waited as long as they could, but everyone thought at Zohn was either not returning (because he would never find a wife) or had died. Therefore the Zohn's younger brother, David, had been crowned king. This came as a serious blow to Zohn, and an even bigger one to Rapunzel who had reasoned that even if Zohn wasn't the love of her life, at least she could be Queen and keep him from running the country into the ground.

The next surprise for Zohn was how much David had changed without Zohn around him. David had always been quiet and a little self-conscience thanks to Zohn constantly putting him down. David had really come into his own in the three years that his brother had been away. He was intelligent, like Zohn, but didn't constantly tell people they were wrong. He was everything Zohn was not: kind, assertive, funny, well-groomed, and_ attractive_. David looked like he had stepped straight off the cover of a romance novel. Zohn still looked like he belonged in a dumpster. Considering all of this, it was easy from everyone, except Zohn of course, to see what would happen, which was Zohn's final surprise.

David and Rapunzel fell in love.

It wasn't really one of those love-at-first-sight things. At least not for Rapunzel. Although she could see the stark contrast between Zohn and David, she still felt obligated to stay with Zohn. She had made him a promise and she wasn't going to go back on her word. But as time went on, and Zohn got whinier, Rapunzel knew she had to tell him the truth. She had been spending a lot of time with David. At first it was just because she enjoyed his company, but it, as these things tend to do, grew to much more than that. This was the final straw for Zohn. He went in to a mad rage and left the kingdom and hasn't been seen since. The way was cleared for Rapunzel and David to get married.

Rapunzel had called me to Janath the week before her wedding. She had told the whole story to David and explained that I wasn't a wicked witch, but instead the woman who had cared for her when she thought no one else wanted her. After many tears, mostly happy ones, I realized that I had never given Rapunzel enough credit. I had always thought that she was greedy and like her parents despite all the work I did. When I saw her with David, I knew that she wasn't like them at all; she had just been lonely. I felt incredibly selfish, but Rapunzel told me that she didn't blame me for anything. In fact, she said that she owed me everything.

The wedding was beautiful, simple yet elegant. Since I was the closet thing she had to family, I was the one to give Rapunzel away. I told myself I wasn't going to cry. I failed.

After I made sure that Rapunzel was settled in her new life and position as Queen, I decided to resume traveling. But I decided to make a more permanent move. I sold my house and moved to Barbados. A little island living was just what the doctor prescribed. And my hot, Adonis look alike boy toy Sven didn't hurt either. I'd say he helped matters greatly, especially the tension in my shoulders and stiff lower back.

Rapunzel and David had two children, Mais andSpargel. I was named Godmother to both of them, a position I treasured greatly. I occasionally went to Janath to visit the family, especially when they were in need of some magicalhelp.

And so Rapunzel, David,Mais, Spargel, Sven and I all lived happily ever after…

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the not so happily ever after part of the story. Everybody's favorite duo Bubba and Darla did not make it out as well as the rest of us.

Before I moved to Barbados, I went hometo tie up a few loose ends. While I was there I discovered Darla had given birth to a baby boy. They had managed to not have any kids since Rapunzel, who they had had when they were very young, but I suppose something went wrong.

Since I didn't want to get pulled into the situation again, I made an anonymous call to Child Services with a tip that the conditions at Bubba and Darla's were far from adequate for a baby. (I had actually seen Bubba in my garden several nights, I think he hoped I would catch him and make the same deal as before.)

Child Services was prompt and made some unusual discoveries. I had been right about the meth lab (big shocker) but I had been wrong about them being cousins. It was worse than that. Bubba and Darla were, I kid you not, _brother and sister_. After I found that out I decided it was time to leave. Hearing anymore about the two of them and I would need serious therapy. I felt really bad for Rapunzel, no wonder she was a little screwed up. But I wisely chose not to share this information with her.

Last I heard of the pair the baby had been taken and adopted by a wonderful family. Bubba and Darla had packed up and high tailed it out of town. Maybe they and Zohn are hiding out together. Oh to be a fly on the wall for that conversation…

Anyway, everyone who deserved it got a happily ever after. Everyone else disappeared into oblivion like _they_ deserved.

The End

**A/N so there you go. **

**Now to make a few apologies and clarifications.**

**Concerning Bubba and Darla, I have nothing against "redneck" type people. I actually live in Tennessee, so I hold no prejudices against them. I just thought the pair added an interesting dynamic to the story and the opportunity for fun running jokes. I'm sorry if the brother/sister thing was too much for anyone. When a friend and I discussed it, we both got thoroughly grossed out by the idea, but thought it was still too funny not to put in the story. (Speaking of that friend, did you notice my tribute to you? Well…not so much a tribute, just a lack of creativity on my part. Though, it went with the whole theme, you know, Zohn of Janath, Wily of Larpinski…lol)**

**Also, as I think back in the story, the character of Rapunzel changed a lot in the witch's perspective. I don't really know why that was, I had intended to make Rapunzel a very bad character, but decided I wanted to write it as a bit of a success story for the witch. So yeah, that's what happened.**

**Anyhoo, thanks much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it at least a little. Review and let me know, if you'd be so kind. :)**

**Oh, and fifty bonus points to anyone who can figure out the connection of the kids' name to the story. Hint: go to an online translator and hit "German to English."**


End file.
